Powerful Testimony of God's Love & Forgiveness
Updated: Jan 23
Hello friends, in this testimony, I am shifting the focus off myself in order to fully appreciate the extent of God’s forgiving nature. Through this testimony, I want the Holiness, love and faithfulness of God to shine the brightest from what I am saying. I want to make it all about Him, His greatness, His integrity and all the goodness He embodies. The experiences I am about to describe happened within a space of two to three years after committing abortion twice. By God's grace He led me to repentance and I returned to Him in Godly sorrow. The themes to be highlighted are God's forgiveness, miracles, creative nature and abundant increase, as well as restoration.
Let us look at what God’s word says about forgiveness. Firstly, In Isaiah we are reminded of Gods mercy because it says He blots out transgressions and remembers sins no more. Ephesians 1:7 also tells us that in Him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins. Also, self-condemnation and condemnation from other people consumed me for a long time. The word of God in Romans 8:1, says “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” Learning to accept this and reminding myself daily removed the weight of condemnation from my shoulders. Again, as I say this the Holy Spirit reminds me to shift the focus onto what He’s done for me. This leads me to share with you a vision God gave me three years after I committed the sin of abortion.
As mentioned previously, during this three-year period, I suffered severely- emotionally, physically and psychologically. I was in a pattern of self-destruction, where deep down I started throwing myself towards the wrong people and living a risky lifestyle because I felt and believed I deserved the worst out of life because of commiting the knowing sin of abortion. It culminated to a point where I was left with nobody and nothing at all, and my life felt like it was ending. All I had worked for as a woman over 30 was gone, as the trail of backsliding and sin soon caught up. At the darkest hour, God was there for me. He showed me His love and forgiveness and I turned back to Him. In my new walk with Him, He began renewing and transforming me. Through each passing day, His healing touch and power woke me up each morning and I suddenly felt I had something to live for. He healed me from the torment of my sins and what He did next totally had me in awe for months and months on end.
One day, in the morning of the day after my birthday, as I was waking up, still with my eyes closed I began to wonder what I would do for the day. As I opened my eyes, right there, in front of me, over my pillow was a vision of a baby wrapped in a light blue blanket. The baby looked about a few months old and its movements were lively and adorable in every way. In the background of the vision, I heard myself speaking joyfully but I could not make out what I was saying. During the vision, there was an absence of fear, as all I could do was look at the baby and be in total awe. It was literally like looking at a video the size of a small phone screen. This was the first time I can say I openly witnessed a miracle right before my eyes.
God began shifting my focus off my sin in order for me to fully appreciate the extent of His creative nature and abundant increase as He reveals in His word. In other words he wanted me to focus on what He's done instead of what I had done. Here are a few scriptures demonstrating that. In Isaiah 41:18 He says “I will put in the desert the cedar and the acacia, the myrtle and the olive. I will set junipers in the wasteland, the fir and the cypress together, so that people may see and know, may consider and understand, that the hand of the LORD has done this, that the Holy One of Israel has created it.” And also, in the book of Romans, God’s nature as the creator of all things who, “gives life to the dead and calls into being things that were not.” Additionally, God seeks to do a new thing in each of our lives and we know this because He says in Isaiah 42:9, "see, the former things have taken place, and new things I declare; before they spring into being, I announce them to you.” Also, “Isaiah 43:19, says “See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?” The emphasis here, is God’s creative power, nobody but He has the power and control over all life. He has dominion over all life, and He does with each life as He pleases. He is able to create flowing rivers and trees in the dessert in accordance with His divine purpose. In short, He causes abundance where there was once desolation.
After God gave me the vision, He began opening my eyes to the testimonies of other women that had suffered this sin. Watching those testimonies touched my heart and helped reveal a unique dimension of God's love, based on other's personal experiences. Their individual experiences served as a lesson to me as well. They got me to understand all the differant and amazing ways, God shows grace and forgiveness, which is also what I hope my testimony will do. I will now tell you about two testimonies I watched on YouTube and their similarities to more revelations that God gave me at that time. The first testimony I will talk about relates to abortion while the second one is a woman's encounter, of God sending her a child.
The first YouTube testimony was of a lady who was telling the story about how her little grand daughter had slipped and fell, but an angel caught her. From there, this little child had a heavenly visitation and saw many different things by the grace of God. One particular experience she encountered was of the tables in heaven where all the bodies of aborted babies are put and Jesus forms them. According to the little girl, these babies get put into Kangaroo incubation pouches until their bodies are developed.
Now, after the vision, I had a dream where I was with my aborted baby and we were lying somewhere, and she was playing on me and I felt her soft skin on mine. After a while, she fell asleep and I decided to take her inside the house and lay her down to sleep. As I go into this house, I meet a lady who resembled a cousin of mine, and ask her where I should put my baby to sleep.
The woman answered me and said, that there is a room where all the family’s children sleep, and I can put her there. Then, I headed to that room and as I walk in, I realize that there is no place to put her down, as all the beds are full of sleeping children. The whole room was just full of sleeping children of all ages. Then suddenly someone I couldn’t see says I should put her on the table, but then I ignored them because I was worried, my baby would fall. I then go check if there is space on one of the beds, but there was none. I eventually put her on the table and left the room and that was the end of my dream.
Now, going back to the YouTube testimony and how the little girl said she was shown a room full of tables of aborted babies, I then linked it to my dream where I placed my aborted baby on a table. In that room, the little girl revealed that Jesus and the angels were working on many rows of tables with little babies and making them whole. When Jesus made them whole, they had full mental capacity and could use their arms and legs. She also revealed that the Kangaroo she saw would take the baby out to a park in heaven and bounce them in a way that a mother would. This drew my attention to the loving and caring nature of God, that not one of those babies are unwanted in heaven but are taken care of and treated as precious creations of God. They are given the kind of love and attention that God created mothers to have for their children and even more.
What the testimony of the little girl made me realize is that as God was making whole the baby’s in heaven, His love can also restore and make whole the mothers on earth. I did nothing to deserve God’s restoration. I did nothing to deserve His forgiveness. Through it all, He has shown Himself Holy and Faithful, having the ability to love and forgive through the worst of sins. And that, is the message I came here to share, that through my sin, He may get the glory and praise. Just like when the children of Israel sinned and God restored them, God says in Ezekiel 36:21-23 that, “I had concern for my holy name, which the people of Israel profaned among the nations where they had gone. ‘Therefore, say to the Israelites, “This is what the Sovereign LORD says: it is not for your sake, people of Israel, that I am going to do these things but for the sake of my holy name, which you have profaned among the nations where you have gone. I will show the holiness of my great name, which has been profaned among the nations, the name you have profaned among them. Then the nations will know that I am the LORD, declares the Sovereign LORD, when I am proved holy through you before their eyes.” When I am proved holy through you, wow, those words always resonate so deeply within me as I share this testimony.
The latest vision I had from God is a closed vision of a boy. I must emphasize that at that point, I had forsaken my old ways and fully repented and turned towards God. Based on the first vision I had described previously, of an open vision on my pillow, I felt inspired by God to desire a family of my own one day which will be divinely orchestrated by Him. After that open vision, God knew the desire of my heart to be married and have a family. Therefore in the latest closed vision, I saw a little boy of maybe 4 or 5 years old, that was on a horse, dressed like a cowboy, with a cowboy hat as well. He was in what looked like the heavenly realm, as the entire place was surrounded by clouds. I got to see the side of his face, and I could tell that he was mine because of the resemblance I saw. About a day or two after this vision, I was on YouTube and randomly came across a testimony from a woman whose six-year-old son remembers God sending him to his mother on a white horse. The boy spoke about God’s kindness and the reason He was sending him is because He knew how much his mother wanted a child. Once again, I was in awe, and felt God wants to give me a child one day, despite my past. Suddenly I fully understood what the Bible says about God forgetting our sins. "This truth is repeatedly affirmed in Scripture. According to the psalmist, God has removed our sin from us as far as east is from west (Psalm 103:12). Jeremiah predicted that when Messiah came, God would forgive all our iniquity and remember our sin no more (Jeremiah 31:34)."
The last experience I will share is also pretty recent, which Ive added in this new year to update the testimony. So, late last year, God sent me another encounter. It was a regular Saturday and I was in my room reading, suddenly in my frustration over something, I just broke down and cried to God. Being on my bed, I fell asleep. While I slept, I felt I was in the spirit, and sensed all around me the presence of children playing happily all around me. From what I sensed, there were many of them and the atmosphere was happy and peaceful. Suddenly, I knew that my baby was around me and as I came into this awareness he tried to scramble away, but I caught him by his tiny leg and pulled him close to me and gave him a hug as I patted him on the back. As I did that, he also started patting me on the back, which shocked yet comforted me so much. I then woke up and felt so much better because I had fallen asleep in tears but woke up with a smile. This experience taught me that everything God says in the Bible is right and true. See Isaiah 66:13 "as a mother comforts her child, so will I comfort you..."
Through these experiences, I felt led by the Holy Spirit to tell them in such a way that glorifies and sheds light on just how patient He is. 2 Peter 3:8-9 reminds us of this, saying, “But do not forget this one thing, dear friends: with the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day. The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.”
Dear friend reading this, God's grace led me to repentance after living a backslidin life filled with sexual sin. Through sexual sin came abortion, and by His grace, He delivered me from the path of destruction. It was also through His grace that I learnt to accept His forgiveness and forgive myself too. I pray that this testimony has touched your heart and caused you to see even more how wonderful God is.
Thank you for reading, and may God bless you.
Links to the two testimonies referred to: